im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did i walk over a car last night?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize