I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize