He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
