booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
