My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
