Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
