Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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