He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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