I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize