I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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