its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize