Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
