Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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