oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
