I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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