just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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