Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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