I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
