what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
