Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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