So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sext me about skeletons
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
