I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize