Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
