I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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