I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
