So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
