No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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