I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
