Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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