I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
