there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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