i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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