My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am spending my child support on dildos
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
