Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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