yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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