Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
