but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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