The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
