Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
