We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
