Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
