Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
