I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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