Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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