Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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