you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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