Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
