I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
