Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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