ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
