Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my liver is dry heaving
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
