We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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