My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
