Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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