Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize