every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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