i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
