I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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