It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
