So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
