it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
