yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
