batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
