this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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