That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
