So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
