In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
